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The adventures of Ryan Keely, porn star, fetish model, stripper, sexpert and cranky pants. Not that she wears pants……

I’m looking less and less shinerific. I’m a little sad to see it go, my dude friends have been taking turns pretending to be my abusive boyfriend while out in public. I’ve taken to telling waitstaff that it was my own fault for provoking him and that no one understands him like I do.

As I write this I am tucking in to my very first ‘Terry’s Chocolate Orange’ aka the Jesus of chocolate treats. It’s too awesome to be described with words. 

I’ve been enjoying my time in Dublin relaxing with my, as they say here, mates. It’s actually been a quiet week, I thought i would be doing much more boozing. However Kenya got me trained to go to sleep early, get up with the sun and get loads of fresh air an exercise. I shouldn’t be complaining, but I feel like I should be drinking more. I made it to the National Art Gallery and enjoyed a morning lecture on the legendary Finnish painter Albert Edelfelt before I checked out the Golden Age of Finnish Art exhibition. As usual I spent way to much in the gift shop and ignored several notable paintings to seek out the Modigliani nude they had tucked away. I would love to go to a Modigliani exhibition, the last one was in 1917 and even that one was shut down because the work was considered obscene. I think its about time……..

Other things that have been making me happy this week, hip hop videos, mostly early 90s hip hop videos, below is a present for you. I think this video is just as awesome as a Terry’s Chocolate Orange is delicious.

So I crashed my quad bike going 40 kph, I guess went over the handle bars face face first into a ditch. Which I can only imagine looked awesome. I continued on my quad bike tour until my injured shoulder stiffened up and I was no longer able to turn left. Below are some pictures of the face damage. The last 5 are from today, I think its starting to heal nicely.

I’m in Kenya. I’ll be back with wifi in a few days and post pictures of lions, zebra, elephants and so many more.

Today I visted a small school and I realized how much I can do in this region. The school had two rooms but only enough desks to teach in one. $225 would buy enough desks, $300 would cover the desks and the chalkboard. I’m kicking myself for not bringing my checkbook. I’m in the bush so I can’t really get to an ATM…..its time for lunch so I’m off.

I wore my corset for 9 hours the other day. Those 9 hours were spent working at a strip club, I danced on stage, did pole tricks, lap dances, everything cinched in. It felt so fucking good. I am looking for a new corset so I can start tightlace training. I want to wear corsets everyday and train my waist to lace down to 19 inches. I know it sounds crazy…..but just thinking about it turns me on. As soon as I get back from Africa I’m going to start working extra shifts to pay for my further decent into debauchery. 

Speaking of debaucherious torture the photo is of my latest pair of fuck me pumps. Those bitches rise 6 inches up from the floor and I can barely stand in them (I can always crawl in them!). I thought I was a rock star for mastering the 5 inch heels until . I was so proud of myself until Christeen Kessler put me in 6 inch shoes and I could barely pose. I love a challenge so I bought my 6 inchers at Tony’s Shoes, I’m wearing them around the house and eventually with enough practice I should be able to dance in these delicious tools of torture, or at least hold a pose.