Read Ryan
The adventures of Ryan Keely, porn star, fetish model, stripper, sexpert and cranky pants. Not that she wears pants……

and i don’t want to post. I’m going to go curl up with Cowboy Bebop DVDs until the mean reds go away. Maybe then I’ll be sorta pleasant.

Yesterday I was supposed to start on the Master Cleanse but the worst Migrane of my life interupted my detox. I was litterally on the floor of the bathroom crying in pain. Nothing has ever hurt that bad. Apperantly there is not much that can be done for them except for rest and dark. This freaks me out, there is somthing that totally incapacitates me that I can’t do anything to prevent. This is the 2nd time this has happened to me, I can’t even remember when the last one was because I have blocked it out of my memory.

I should have posted this yesterday, oh well. So I lost a pound from last week. I don’t know how, over the weekend my weight ballooned up to 142Lbs, I must have been retaining water or something. I am now on the Master Cleanse for how long I can take not eating and then I will be looking into a nutritionist. There is a rumor that American Gladiators is coming back and I may have to audition, or at least train like I am going to audition. Malachi, my business partner said he would be happy to take me to a park and throw balls at me.

While I was all fat and bloated over the weekend I shot with the incomparable Nathan Strauss and he took the shot of me being all in distress. The video that we shot is really scary, I used those 8 years of theater training I thought were going to waste. It was fun and I learned to pop the inside of a trunk with tied up toes. It was a set we had talked about doing for ages and it was great to finally make it happen.

And coming to a stage near you, eventually, is my sweet ass. I started my exotic dancing classes with www.catmovespoledancing.com and I may get a job working as a house girl to refine my skills before I go on the road. You will be the first to know where to find me grinding.

I am now selling my dirty lingerie, if you are interested in purchasing panties, bra sets, stocking or socks shoot me and email. Each item will include a personalized and autographed picture

As you can see I had my nails painted a delicious new shade, Essie’s Garnet. I love getting my nails done, I never even feel like I deserve a massage, so my frequent trips to the nail salon are a well-deserved luxury.

I had an amazing day yesterday. My good friend Tatsuya was over and we had breakfast and watched one of my all time favorite movies ‘Ninja Scroll”, I got a little work done on the computer and we left the house to see the highly amusing ‘Superbad’. I adored Michael Cera in ‘Arrested Development’ and he was equally as hilarious here, however I would like to see him try something different. I hope he can avoid being typecast as a socially awkward nerd. I bet he gets plenty of cunt in real life being adorable and hilarious like he is.

Speaking of actors that are too young for me, I had an awesome dream I was being wooed by Daniel Radcliff, it was awesome. Having a younger man convince me that he could handle the tiger, grrrr. I would love to be courted by Harry Potter, he’s looking surprisingly hot for being, you know, Harry Potter.

Back on the subject of my awesome day, after the movie Tatsuya took me to the Scion Art Show curated by Giant Robot. Total blast, even though the music made me want to commit suicide. I ended it all with late night Mexican food and amazing artists, a woman who builds robots, a couple local designers, spectacular  and a Vice writer/Pro gambler. It really could not have been more awesome. I even colored a kids menu. This eclectic group will mostly be at the Magic Convention in Vegas and I might have to head that way and party my face off. My roommate is in Vegas this weekend and I will be going out there as soon as he gets back. Lucky bastard got sweet UFC tix real close to ringside….

I swear, doing my first G/G kicked off a week of blur. It’s Friday and I am just now getting a chance to sit in front of my computer and wade through my emails and online responsibilities.

So my G/G was great fun, Eva Angelina is a doll to work with and fucked the shit out of me. I terrorized her with a strap-on, it was hot. Look for it in December/January from Johnni Darkko for Evil Angel/Evil Empire. 2 days later I got to shoot with another hottie, a red head named Paige. We splashed around in a pool for the always adorable, even fat, Rick Shameless.

I re-arranged my room and I am now searching for a bed that doesn’t suck. Any Ideas? I am looking for something modern, full sized and not too expensive.

I am so happy to be getting the home shit done, Grind has a lot of projects in the works and I need to grease those wheels.

3lbs lost, and it wasn’t that hard, I even gorged at Koi last night, mochi = yum. Just did a VLOG about my first g/g. Will try to get that up later. Wish me luck!

Loving SF, I always have such a great time while I am up here. The people are more like people from Seattle, smart, cultured, open. I went to fetish model Madison Young’s gallery Femina Potens, power female in Latin, and I was really impressed to see what she is doing with all of her porn money. It’s great to see a strong, sexy women using the adult industry to fund important projects. If you are ever in the Castro District make sure to hit up the gallery and try to make it to one of their events, they are full of interesting people.  Check her out at www.MadisonBound.com

I also watched “Shortbus” last night which is the most important film I’ve seen all year. John Cameron Mitchell’s work is so insightful and the only truly moving movies about love and relationships and being alone. Heartbreaking and beautiful, with lots of hot naked people going through some shit. He also directed and starred in another one of my favorite movies, “Hedwig and the Angry Inch” with the highly edible Michael Pitt.

Sooooo I just confirmed my first G/G! I shoot Monday, I am so excited! I’m trying not to cum until then. I think I can do it, my roommate bets I can’t hold out……I’m just trying to guarantee the best scene possible.

I’m up in SF just chillin’ . I shot the pilot for Max Royal yesterday which was fun and exhausting. I forget how hard it is to stay ‘on’ and be the focus of attention for a few hours. This was the first paid video shoot that I have been on where I was the only model for the day. Talk about pressure. It was fun and I think I did well, all I had to do was talk about my favorite sex toys and how I liked to use them. Going to spend the day exploring the city with the super rad Max Royal, that’s him sneaking up on me in the background.

Let me know what you think about the new ‘do, I did it myself the night before I flew up to SF. Cutting my own hair the night before a shoot is not the smartest thing I have ever done, but it turned out super cute.

I came home early, and it was the best decision I made. The duty free forgot to charge for my scotch which I am taking as a good omen. Today I get my ass into gear and start back at the work. I have a bunch of emails to get to and some errands to run. I also start my fitness program in earnest. My goal is to be tight and toned for my G/G on Monday. France was making me fat. Before I get to do my G/G though, it’s up to San Fransisco to shoot a pilot for a sex advice show. I love working in SF, the A Positive people always make me very welcome and it never feels like work.

This is where I am at 140.5 lbs. I’ll be doing one of these every week.