Read Ryan
The adventures of Ryan Keely, porn star, fetish model, stripper, sexpert and cranky pants. Not that she wears pants……

What could go wrong?

If you haven’t checked out my members site by know you totally need to. I’ve been posting some pretty awesome shit. Last week I posted what is easily one of my top 5 filthiest masturbation videos. I was wearing pretty pink latex and I ended up sucking on my filthy toes, squirting all over the ground and then licking my girl-cum up off of the dirty cement floor. Today’s update is a high fashion lingerie shoot where I show of the goods in a waist cincher and stockings.

I’m just saying that it is worth checking out if you haven’t already. No pressure.

I’ve also got mad writers block, I have a bunch of new sex toys to review for popporn.com…..no idea where to start…

…I love people who read my blog, and it makes we want to write more. I’ve been having a tough couple of weeks. Nothing sucks more than stripping with a cold. Had to go home early today, walked passed my neighbors bbq and straight into bed. I feel its important for me to be dancing right now, a lot of people have been coming in that need some companionship and affection. I’ve always hated the holidays because they seem to make everyone feel so miserable. It breaks my heart how lonely and stressed everyone is right now. Holidays are supposed to bring everyone together, but instead we worry about money and finding the right gifts and getting the house ready………..

I’m thinking about working christmas, I bet some people need some sparkle and excitement on that day of stress and over-exstended expectations. No one listens like a girl in a g string, we’re in no position to judge.

I’m looking less and less shinerific. I’m a little sad to see it go, my dude friends have been taking turns pretending to be my abusive boyfriend while out in public. I’ve taken to telling waitstaff that it was my own fault for provoking him and that no one understands him like I do.

As I write this I am tucking in to my very first ‘Terry’s Chocolate Orange’ aka the Jesus of chocolate treats. It’s too awesome to be described with words. 

I’ve been enjoying my time in Dublin relaxing with my, as they say here, mates. It’s actually been a quiet week, I thought i would be doing much more boozing. However Kenya got me trained to go to sleep early, get up with the sun and get loads of fresh air an exercise. I shouldn’t be complaining, but I feel like I should be drinking more. I made it to the National Art Gallery and enjoyed a morning lecture on the legendary Finnish painter Albert Edelfelt before I checked out the Golden Age of Finnish Art exhibition. As usual I spent way to much in the gift shop and ignored several notable paintings to seek out the Modigliani nude they had tucked away. I would love to go to a Modigliani exhibition, the last one was in 1917 and even that one was shut down because the work was considered obscene. I think its about time……..

Other things that have been making me happy this week, hip hop videos, mostly early 90s hip hop videos, below is a present for you. I think this video is just as awesome as a Terry’s Chocolate Orange is delicious.

So I crashed my quad bike going 40 kph, I guess went over the handle bars face face first into a ditch. Which I can only imagine looked awesome. I continued on my quad bike tour until my injured shoulder stiffened up and I was no longer able to turn left. Below are some pictures of the face damage. The last 5 are from today, I think its starting to heal nicely.

I’m in Kenya. I’ll be back with wifi in a few days and post pictures of lions, zebra, elephants and so many more.

Today I visted a small school and I realized how much I can do in this region. The school had two rooms but only enough desks to teach in one. $225 would buy enough desks, $300 would cover the desks and the chalkboard. I’m kicking myself for not bringing my checkbook. I’m in the bush so I can’t really get to an ATM…..its time for lunch so I’m off.

I’m waiting to catch my connecting flight back to my beloved NOLA. I’ve been away much to long, long enough for a ‘friend’ to move in and start running a political campaign from my living room. While sleeping in my bed she also took up all of my editors time working on the campaign so now I have to find a new editor, one that understands deadlines. How the fuck do i dump a friend I’ve known my whole life? She fucked with my site and my home, she’s done.

So anyway the next couple days will be focused on getting my site updated and pre-loading the next 2 months worth of sexy pics and vids. I’ve got a lot of really hot new stuff I’m excited to share with the world. As soon as I find a new editor, I’ll be throwing up some hot girl/girl stuff. I’ve played with Joanna Angel, Penny Flame and some other hot chicas. Stuff definitely worth checking out.

Tonight I’m going to drop the bags and head to the club. I’m looking very cuddly and i think a few days back on the pole will make my muscles and work of some of my anger about my home situation. Besides I’ve got to look good in my halloween costume and my all taco shop diet hasn’t been doing anything for my waist, my ass on the other hand is out of control. I’m either going to go as a jailbird or a cowboy, both costumes raided from my feature dancing kit. I wish i had time to make my lobster costume……..next year maybe.

I am exhuasted today for no apperent reason. I do however have my laptop back after a 3 month seperation, so I should be blogging more regularly. I’m working on a new members homepage for all the people that come to my site to see dirty, dirty smutty pictures, think that with some minor tweaks my site is going to start ruling the universe. Especially after all my hot latex pictures go up.

going to try disco napping, see if that makes me feel less eh.