Read Ryan
The adventures of Ryan Keely, porn star, fetish model, stripper, sexpert and cranky pants. Not that she wears pants……

I’m looking less and less shinerific. I’m a little sad to see it go, my dude friends have been taking turns pretending to be my abusive boyfriend while out in public. I’ve taken to telling waitstaff that it was my own fault for provoking him and that no one understands him like I do.

As I write this I am tucking in to my very first ‘Terry’s Chocolate Orange’ aka the Jesus of chocolate treats. It’s too awesome to be described with words. 

I’ve been enjoying my time in Dublin relaxing with my, as they say here, mates. It’s actually been a quiet week, I thought i would be doing much more boozing. However Kenya got me trained to go to sleep early, get up with the sun and get loads of fresh air an exercise. I shouldn’t be complaining, but I feel like I should be drinking more. I made it to the National Art Gallery and enjoyed a morning lecture on the legendary Finnish painter Albert Edelfelt before I checked out the Golden Age of Finnish Art exhibition. As usual I spent way to much in the gift shop and ignored several notable paintings to seek out the Modigliani nude they had tucked away. I would love to go to a Modigliani exhibition, the last one was in 1917 and even that one was shut down because the work was considered obscene. I think its about time……..

Other things that have been making me happy this week, hip hop videos, mostly early 90s hip hop videos, below is a present for you. I think this video is just as awesome as a Terry’s Chocolate Orange is delicious.

So I crashed my quad bike going 40 kph, I guess went over the handle bars face face first into a ditch. Which I can only imagine looked awesome. I continued on my quad bike tour until my injured shoulder stiffened up and I was no longer able to turn left. Below are some pictures of the face damage. The last 5 are from today, I think its starting to heal nicely.

I’m in Kenya. I’ll be back with wifi in a few days and post pictures of lions, zebra, elephants and so many more.

Today I visted a small school and I realized how much I can do in this region. The school had two rooms but only enough desks to teach in one. $225 would buy enough desks, $300 would cover the desks and the chalkboard. I’m kicking myself for not bringing my checkbook. I’m in the bush so I can’t really get to an ATM…..its time for lunch so I’m off.

I wore my corset for 9 hours the other day. Those 9 hours were spent working at a strip club, I danced on stage, did pole tricks, lap dances, everything cinched in. It felt so fucking good. I am looking for a new corset so I can start tightlace training. I want to wear corsets everyday and train my waist to lace down to 19 inches. I know it sounds crazy…..but just thinking about it turns me on. As soon as I get back from Africa I’m going to start working extra shifts to pay for my further decent into debauchery. 

Speaking of debaucherious torture the photo is of my latest pair of fuck me pumps. Those bitches rise 6 inches up from the floor and I can barely stand in them (I can always crawl in them!). I thought I was a rock star for mastering the 5 inch heels until . I was so proud of myself until Christeen Kessler put me in 6 inch shoes and I could barely pose. I love a challenge so I bought my 6 inchers at Tony’s Shoes, I’m wearing them around the house and eventually with enough practice I should be able to dance in these delicious tools of torture, or at least hold a pose.

I’m waiting to catch my connecting flight back to my beloved NOLA. I’ve been away much to long, long enough for a ‘friend’ to move in and start running a political campaign from my living room. While sleeping in my bed she also took up all of my editors time working on the campaign so now I have to find a new editor, one that understands deadlines. How the fuck do i dump a friend I’ve known my whole life? She fucked with my site and my home, she’s done.

So anyway the next couple days will be focused on getting my site updated and pre-loading the next 2 months worth of sexy pics and vids. I’ve got a lot of really hot new stuff I’m excited to share with the world. As soon as I find a new editor, I’ll be throwing up some hot girl/girl stuff. I’ve played with Joanna Angel, Penny Flame and some other hot chicas. Stuff definitely worth checking out.

Tonight I’m going to drop the bags and head to the club. I’m looking very cuddly and i think a few days back on the pole will make my muscles and work of some of my anger about my home situation. Besides I’ve got to look good in my halloween costume and my all taco shop diet hasn’t been doing anything for my waist, my ass on the other hand is out of control. I’m either going to go as a jailbird or a cowboy, both costumes raided from my feature dancing kit. I wish i had time to make my lobster costume……..next year maybe.

I am exhuasted today for no apperent reason. I do however have my laptop back after a 3 month seperation, so I should be blogging more regularly. I’m working on a new members homepage for all the people that come to my site to see dirty, dirty smutty pictures, think that with some minor tweaks my site is going to start ruling the universe. Especially after all my hot latex pictures go up.

going to try disco napping, see if that makes me feel less eh.

but for good reason. I went to LA for several days to shoot some awesome new site content(girl/girl, foot fetish and latex) and the stockroom.com catalog. After shooting all that sexytime fetish I ran off to Hong Kong to get my my nerd on at 3 separate electronics conventions. Speaking of new electronics, I’m typing this from a brand new mini computer. It is tiny, 2lbs and the color of a taxi cab. I feel like an adulterer, its not a mac. I’m sorry Jobbs, what we have is still magical.

I was in Tokyo for a little more than 24 hours before I connected to HK and I spent my time getting drunk and dancing my face off at the completely crowded and awesome 911 in Roppongi. After a nap and an awesome breakfast I took the train to Yodobashi Camera to check out 7 fucking floors of electronics, I’m still recovering from the sensory overload.

Its 4 am in HK and I have a long day tomorrow. Going to get some sleep and prepare for the continued full frontal assault of the Asia tech industry.

The boy in my bed has glitter in his pubic hair, I now own Twister and accidentally made a soon to be destroyed sex tape. Yay for the circus with their absinthe tasting bar! Donate to the local arts like The Big Top and Circus, Circus, Circus if you want to have ridiculous amounts of fun and meet girls who like face paint and bendy games.

i dont think i've ever looked more fun

Modern design is all around you, even on your parking tickets.

I am loving the Eames tribute stamps

Your tax dollars pay for great modern design and tributes to modern design, get you ass to a museum or library so you can really appreciate the world we live in.